is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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