i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I touched a dick in church today
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
