nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
