dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
