I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
