He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize