Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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