One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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