Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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