You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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