some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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