even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
