He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He passed out mid-signature
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
