the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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