Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
