i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize