Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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