if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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