But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
soo... how was my night?
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