her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You have to summon your inner elephant
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
