I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
