Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
