Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
