look no pants
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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