what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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