I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
