The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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