fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
