I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
