South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
