K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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