i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
