Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
