i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
