Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just forgot I was standing up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
