i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He passed out mid-signature
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
