Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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