I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
