38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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