The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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