Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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