there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
