yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
