white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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