why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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