Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
