I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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