she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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