I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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