Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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