even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
