Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just found out that she named her cat after me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
