you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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