I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can I color on your dick again?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
