i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Are we still banned from the library?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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