I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
