Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We are two peas in an std pod
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize