I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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