Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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