I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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