Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
