Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
