She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
