bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
